NICOLE KIDMAN comforts younger sister ANTONIA after her husband is admitted for depression . . .

April 17, 2007

Angus Hawley, the handsome owner of a successful events company, a $4.5 million home on Sydney's lower North Shore, a supportive and beautiful TV personality wife--of 11 years, two sons, two beautiful daughters and an Academy Award winning sister-in-law, has checked into the Bronte clinic with depressive issues.

This was not a complete surprise. A Kidman family member and a psychologist initially became concerned about Mr. Hawley's increasingly erratic behavior earlier this year after a split with his long-term business partner, Monique Tompson. Mr. Hawley is expected to stay in The Sydney Clinic for several weeks. "There is very little "support for the supporter'' and with nowhere else to turn can be open to depression or other illnesses," said Dr. Travis Gee.

There are reports Hawley, 38, missed the birth of his daughter Sybella last month and experts say birth can accelerate problems and give men their own form of post-natal depression. Dr Gee argues that in society we train men to take care of their family but as far as looking after themselves there is no guidance. "There is a complete lack of interest in men's emotional responses to family pressure,'' Dr Gee says. "They can feel that they are a single guy working to support this family and they are not getting back what they expected.
"There may be an element of guilt, a feeling that he is not fulfilling his role. He's out of his territory and he feels that he can't fix it which is how men are taught to deal with things.'' But when it comes to counseling after birth there has been dramatic progress for women but guidance in hospitals or even in schools for men doesn't match. "We have moved forward in letting men in the birthing room but when did we ever prepare them for it,'' Dr Gee says. "If the wife is going through depression the men are not armed with enough information about what to do either. "Men are supposed to go to the bar with other men to sort things out that's about as much (counseling) that guys get.''

Click here to read about the most researched St. John's Wort formulation in America.

Click here to read about other natural antidepressant/emotional mood balancers...

The 23 best things Nicole and Antonia could say to Angus

It is most tempting, when you find out someone is depressed, to attempt to fix the "problem." But, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist, the following responses are more likely to help them.

1. "I love you!"

2. "I care"

3. "You're not alone in this"

4. "I'm not going to leave/abandon you"

5. "Do you want a hug?"

6. "I love you (if you mean it)."

7. "It will pass, we can ride it out together."

8. "When all this is over, I'll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you."

9. "Don't say anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry."

10. "All I want to do know is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on.."

11. "Hey, you're not crazy!"

12. "May the strength of the past reflect in your future."

13. "God does not play dice with the universe." --A. Einstein

14. "A miracle is simply a do-it-yourself project." --S. Leek

15. "We are not primarily on earth to see through one another, but to see one another through"

16. "If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it." --a codeveloper of Prozac, quoted from "Listening to Prozac"

17. "You have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to live an ordinary life?" --from the movie "Little Women" (Marmee to Jo)

18. "I understand your pain and I empathize."

19. "I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me."

20. "I listen to you talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be."

21. "I can't really fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion."

22. "You are important to me."

23. "If you need a friend..... (and mean it)